I had failed. No, this isn't a love failure or even exams. This time it's different. I had failed people most important to me more than i failed myself. "This isn't life dude, its just a part of it" somebody told me but today it made no sense. You may run and hide from anybody but how do you hide from yourselves? Apparently i had nowhere to go, nothing to say and nobody to talk to_doesn't happens everyday.
I reluctantly traced my steps back to the parking lot. Today even the old bus looked so afresh, it seemed to be smiling at me. The olive green paint sparkled. Everything around seemed to be filled with joy. Smiles everywhere, birds chirped and even the sun shined softer. I turned my face away from everyone and stood facing nowhere gazing at nothing. The satchel in my hand felt heavy, I let it down. Looked around and picked up the water bottle. The water was nearly boiling but i gulped it down in a go. The bus started moving and my heart beat faster. Someone at the back started a song and everybody joined in chorus. Another guy was holding a camera, he wanted me to join them. All clapped in unison and with each clap my heart skipped a beat. My throat ran dry and tears followed.
The 5 km ride wouldn't end today. It will take forever for it has its own task to burden me, torment me. Amidst the blaring horns and speakers, the city was silent as a lamb for me. The trees around gave that sly look_see what you have made of yourself.
As aways, more than the wound itself, it is the time you spent, trapped and bewildered that pains. Each second lasts forever. The chair by my study table used to be my favorite place, but today i held myself back. It felt strange. I picked up the new pen i had just bought and words started flowing. This pen mind you was supposed to be a bearer of good luck_the eight horse vintage fountain pen. But this wasn't what i planned to write today. It was supposed to be one tale of happiness and success. And today i can't even call it fate. I turned the page and dipped the pen. I should leave it here and cry my heart out first, i thought. People say it always helps. I screamed but the sound died before it even emerged, i felt dumb. It is the saddest kind of sad, this. Then i realized it was only hurting me more.
No none will know what i write of but it will delight them for it is of pain and sorrow. Of a sunken heart. Each irrelevant line will seem so meaningful....... Each word so full.
It is midnight now. The moon overhead is swiftly passing through the clouds. But there's no sign of sleep tonight and many more nights to follow_i know. It was just a leap of faith_a single step. When a step defines the farthest distance from what you have always wanted the most, this sorrow is how you feel. My limbs feel numb and the pen is getting heavier. I have to put it down for now but i shall pick it up soon again and write, " I took that leap of faith and that has made all the difference". I am sure, then, the moon shall smile and i shall go to sleep with my heart at peace.
I reluctantly traced my steps back to the parking lot. Today even the old bus looked so afresh, it seemed to be smiling at me. The olive green paint sparkled. Everything around seemed to be filled with joy. Smiles everywhere, birds chirped and even the sun shined softer. I turned my face away from everyone and stood facing nowhere gazing at nothing. The satchel in my hand felt heavy, I let it down. Looked around and picked up the water bottle. The water was nearly boiling but i gulped it down in a go. The bus started moving and my heart beat faster. Someone at the back started a song and everybody joined in chorus. Another guy was holding a camera, he wanted me to join them. All clapped in unison and with each clap my heart skipped a beat. My throat ran dry and tears followed.
The 5 km ride wouldn't end today. It will take forever for it has its own task to burden me, torment me. Amidst the blaring horns and speakers, the city was silent as a lamb for me. The trees around gave that sly look_see what you have made of yourself.
As aways, more than the wound itself, it is the time you spent, trapped and bewildered that pains. Each second lasts forever. The chair by my study table used to be my favorite place, but today i held myself back. It felt strange. I picked up the new pen i had just bought and words started flowing. This pen mind you was supposed to be a bearer of good luck_the eight horse vintage fountain pen. But this wasn't what i planned to write today. It was supposed to be one tale of happiness and success. And today i can't even call it fate. I turned the page and dipped the pen. I should leave it here and cry my heart out first, i thought. People say it always helps. I screamed but the sound died before it even emerged, i felt dumb. It is the saddest kind of sad, this. Then i realized it was only hurting me more.
No none will know what i write of but it will delight them for it is of pain and sorrow. Of a sunken heart. Each irrelevant line will seem so meaningful....... Each word so full.
It is midnight now. The moon overhead is swiftly passing through the clouds. But there's no sign of sleep tonight and many more nights to follow_i know. It was just a leap of faith_a single step. When a step defines the farthest distance from what you have always wanted the most, this sorrow is how you feel. My limbs feel numb and the pen is getting heavier. I have to put it down for now but i shall pick it up soon again and write, " I took that leap of faith and that has made all the difference". I am sure, then, the moon shall smile and i shall go to sleep with my heart at peace.
How do you write so well buddy?
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